Believe

How does life become different?

Waking up in the morning and then getting ready for the day’s activities is a daily routine for most people.

Imagining it to be different makes no difference.

Ordinary as it is, Pam, a first year computer engineering student, sees it that way. That life spent in a routinely manner is ordinary, nothing is new, it is not awesome.

Her habits, which are just her usual acts in the morning before, became her attitude. Her attitude became her beliefs. Her beliefs became her doctrine in life.

Though she thinks that way, she convinces herself to be happy, and thinks that it is not just her who does such same things – she has her own dilemma to resolve: it is about her identity.

“It's pretty hard to talk about the self if you don't even know who the self is, or if the self doesn't want to be talked about, or if the self is confused,” she said. It seems like she is still confused as to who she really is.

When asked about how she defines awesome, she answered that it is by being “appreciated by people because of your appreciation of yourself”. She has this problem of appreciating herself, though; she tends to degrade herself.

She also said that she is affected by how her family and “close-to-heart” people think about her, though sadly, she does not have any idea on how do they think of her in the first place.

When asked about when or why she thinks this way, she do not know as to when or why she has started thinking this way. She has been already thinking this way, as far as she can remember.

In her work, it says there in the first line and the last line that”she could have done better.”

Perhaps, what she thought about herself is true.

It is not about her degrading herself with all her baffling thoughts but it is about her and her actions in her life as a whole.

She views life as it “is something that will make things more complicated”. But complications are the reason why awesomeness occurs. Astounding things in life would not happen if it is not for these complications.

She said that she finds her life ordinary-that it is not awesome, and somehow wishes that someone, even herself would be able to tell her that “she’s awesome”. She could have done better with all her actions in life, so as to somehow change her “routine”, and start having a life that is led to the path of awesomeness.

Pamela, the girl who does not believe that she is awesome in her own ways, should start believing in herself. Self-degradation would not do any good to a person.

She could have done better and be awesome as she wishes.

Or better put it this way.

This girl is awesome and she could be a better person.